Being prisoned

 I've dreamed that I was in prison 😱

But a really luxurious prison 🤔 with very usual other women that even had kids like me.. Hmm..

And it was more like a cage in a very modern and wooden living room / floor..

Anyways..

I have no idea why I had to stay there but I felt fear how long I may have to stay there.. 

Then I was allowed to stay with my daughter in a luxury apartment but locked up..  It was really beautyfull.. I think it was like in a hotel.. 

I was talking with the police / security man.. I told him that I always lived my life by locking up myself alot.. 

I told him that after my first BF locked me up, I was able to see how worthy it is to be free.. And that I then enjoyed it..

But I forgot it again and now when I'm in prison i can realize again how worthy it is to can go out when ever I want.. 

I felt so sad and regretted that I didn't use this freeness when I could.. And I understood, as soon as I am free again I will enjoy it! 

The apartment had a very very long balkony and I asked if I'm allowed to go at least out there on my balcony.. 

Gladly he said I'm allowed to.. 

So I gone out and bcs it was so long.. I walked and walked and walked and it became like a path.. True the building and out the building.. There was something like a garage.. And I recognized suddenly that I'm outside and that I'm not allowed to be here.. 

Next moment I could hear a woman's voice talking to a man.. There was maybe a parking or something.. 

I was so scarred she will see me and I will be even locked up more.. 

I tried to hide but she almost saw me.. It was very scarry situation.. 

But I could succeed.. And then I found me climbing at roofs and decorations of a huge shopping center.. 

And I realized again how dangerous it was that they could see me and lock me down even more.. 

So I tried to finde a way back to the apartment and I was so in fear.. 

I regretted that instead of being happy to were free to go to the balcony.. I risked just for adventure to go further and may loose even this freeness.. 

I was very very relived and glad when I could return to the apartment without anybody recognized.. 

But then again I worried if I ever will come out again.. What if I have to stay here until the end of my life.. Why didn't I enjoyed being free when I was.. 

And then the fear.. What if now comes a fire.. Do they open the door that I can leave the building or will I die in the fire? 

The fear that my life may not count as worthy for those in their hands I am..

I think it's interesting that the moon where in between the north node and uranus while I was dreaming that..

Also Mars is conjunction M mercury and opposes my 12th house pluto. 

While mercury exactly opposes my uranus..